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-----------------------------08/11/2005
-------------------------------Hey-o, everyone out there in SyberWorld. It,s old Creed Bratton coming at your again, here from my perch as a Quality -------------------------------------------------------------Assurance Manager at Dunder Mifflin paper. Just a few observations on the world around me.
-------------------------------What do you guys think is the best kind of car? To me, you can't beat motorcycles. They're small and dangerous. They just -----------------------------------------------------------can't be trusted.
------------------------------ I got into a car accident yesterday and I just took off. It didn't look too bad. The guy was making a big deal out of it, but ------------------------------------------------------------come on — dogs don't live forever.
-------------------------------Sometimes when I,m sick, or feeling blue, I drink vinegar. I like all kinds: balsamic, vodka, orange juice, leaves.
------------------------------- Today in my office where I work as Director of Quality Assurance (don't ask me), we went to the beach for some reason that ---------------------------------------------------------was never explained. When we were there, our manager told us to eat hot coals. I thought that was a little bit weird so I ate ------------------------------------------------------ a fish instead. Then a woman I have literally never seen before in my entire life started talking very loudly about something -------------------------------------------------------involving Halpert. She was agitated, I,d say. From what I could guess, she was definitely on drugs of some kind, perhaps cocaine,---------------------------------------------------- or maybe ‘drines. Also, she is a knock-out. She reminds me of a young Daphne Du Maurier. Also, I stupidly ate the fishbones.------------------------------------------------------- I told myself “never again” after the last time, but then you turn around, and bam, they're in my mouth.
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08/11/2005
-------------------------------Creed Bratton here, welcome back to Creed Thoughts (maybe trademark that) Micheal scott, the manager - his car--------------------------------------------------------------registration - (7640-LPS) reminder to find michael's keys.
This morning on the way to work, I took care of a man who stole from me, lets just say theres not only fish swimming on the bottom of the Scranton River *wink wink. Always remember: Nobody Steals From Creed Bratton And Gets Away With It. The Last Person To Do This Disappeared. His Name? Creed Bratton. Anyways, when I came into work everyone was dressed up in costumes. At first I thought it was just Meredith trying to organise an orgy again. But then I was told its halloween. That is really really good timing
My job here? I here you ask, I don't know soothing manager assistance...i'm not sure. the cameras questioning me too much today... i think they're onto me.
Reminder - Dwight's address; 45 Bell St Scranton, Pennsylvania
Reminder - Blonde midget cat lady's address and social security number; 38 lipton avenue Scranton - 7384629 37646284
Prediction: Man land on moon - says “one giant leep”
Thought: Could I still write my blog if i was on the moon. Ask my assistant. Reminder - make kevin my assistant (the fat one) Reminder - bribe kevin to be my asssiant (possibly with cookies)
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16/11/2005
Quite a strange day today. Michael left so I became manager. The only reason I took it was for the hot assistant. Question: Is it possible to keep my title as manager hidden from any documents - wouldn’t want my name getting around, undercover cops everywhere these days. And i mean technically, i'm not a citizen of this country, or even a ‘person’ in general, saves a lot on taxes.
Anyways, I asked the hot assistant to find out what language this is; bleep blop boop bleep bleep blop blop othakfdladfi ljanldkf a caofnaklnc cipaeh lknilanflzncoiahl efpznc kzjnfa
Does anyone know what language it is? I heard it on some show and i'm very intrigued to learn the full language - maybe travel to China make some new friends. Do the chinese speak that language? Or do they speak asian. Hm.
Addition: i've had a thought. Create my own language - it's universal. Obviously for communication with aliens.
This is the alphabet
A - bloop
B- bleep
C - Blaap
D - blip
E - blup
F - blop
G - bleepity
H - bloopity
I - blaapity
J - blipity
K - blupity
L - blopity
M - lipoty
N - lesporsy
O - find letter O
P - blerog
Q - tax evasion
R -nitrogen
S - arghite
T - buluisg
U - butry
V - butt
W - state senator
X - tyrone
Y - fugica
Z - bluncanhan
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21/11/2005
Thought: Am I the only one that keeps a draw of nail clippings (toes and fingers obviously) They sell for a lot on the black market these days and the only place no one will check my stuff is my desk at work.
Reminder ask temp where the black market is? I forget is it in new york or scranton?
Reminder record tapes of song…”scranton...the electric city”
Reminder trade mark words “scranton..electric city”
Hm. Would anyone from my work buy my clippings? I have a few constant buyers but im looking to move off the black market and into the general public. Pretty taboo subject but like i say; kids these days. Speaking of: Do you want to see a foot with four toes?
Reminder; ask Meredith if she wants my clippings. Also ask meredith if she want to see a foot with four toes
Reminder; find someone with a foot with four toes - check if I have a foot with four toes
Reminder: im the one with a foot with four toes
Also, if my parents see this blog im toast.